The way to a scout's heart

Changes depending on whether you have your first aid badge or not.

Oldest biscuit in the world. Proton biscuits looked
suspiciously like this. Photo by Paul Cziko

Oh, right, the food. Food at my Cederberg hikes was a mix of "just add water", a lot of glow in the dark egg substitute, MREs and the surprise hit for our group, "Proton Biscuits" (cookies for you Americans). We think they were called that because they were made of byproducts from the Koeberg nuclear reactor. If you've read much Terry Pratchett, think Dwarf Bread. They were provided to us in old shopping bags, and I have no idea where they came from or what their nutritional value was. Most patrols thought they were a joke, and used them as currency in the swap boxes at bases.

Our patrol, purely due to having boys who would literally eat anything, discovered something amazing about the proton biscuits; after you've had about ten of them, they somehow become delicious. Less than ten, and you'd rather eat the shopping bag, or one of your patrol mates, but once you reach around ten, you simply can't stop eating the things.

This was lucky for us, since at every base we stopped, the swap box was literally overflowing with bags of Proton biscuits left there by patrols who had obviously not eaten the magic number. We capitalised heavily on their lack of fortitude and would grab any bags we came across, leaving behind anything to do with powdered eggs.

By the end of the hike, the supply started drying up. I believe the other patrols had finally hit critical biscuit mass and discovered that they weren't just made from recycled cardboard, or toilet paper. I still think fondly about those Protons, but since I never found out what they actually were, I have never managed to find them outside of Cederberg. They must have been quite nutritious though, we basically lived off them for a week.

Outside of the food you carried with you, there was the Dutch Oven base. This is a highlight in a week filled with radioactive eggs and collapsed matter biscuits. With a bit of preparation, and some patience, you can make delicious confections. I think we skipped it the second time around though. It was overshadowed by other, more important, bases. And we didn't want the Proton Biscuits getting jealous.